Squash is not just a game. It is LIFE!. Thanks, Jack!

All

I haven't posted an update in a while and now is as good a time as any.

As most of you know by now on the evening of July 25th I was diagnosed with AML - Leukemia,  a form of cancer that I have been told, I have a very good chance of recovering from.  I'm at Berkeley's Alta Bates Hospital with the very best staff of doctors and nurses caring for me.

After a week of chemotherapy, the ensuing weeks were spent waiting for my white blood cells to recover; allowing me a chance to return home.

At the beginning of this week of August 10th, my oncologist, Dr. Oleg Krijanovski, informed me that my discharge may be as soon as this weekend of Aug 18, 19.  Oh Happy Day!

Upbeat and liking how this part of the process was ending on a positive note, upon further examination, I was told that even though my white blood cell counts were rising, the "blasts" of underdeveloped white cells resurfaced as well; so it looks like I'll be at Alta Bates awhile longer undergoing my second round of chemotherapy. 

I thought I could win the first game against my opponent with an impertinent shot, but the ball ended up clanging the top of the tin!  How could I miss!? My guess was that my shot was a calibrated shot suitable for the doubles court (where the tin's height is set at 17" and not at the 19" height which is the height of the tin on an international singles court.)  I'm playing more doubles nowadays, so a miscalculation set in when I went for the shot. I'm not playing doubles, you dummy! I'm in a singles match in a singles court against my opponent Leukemia. 

It's a setback. No doubt about it. But I'm up to the challenge of playing out the match.  Game two begins.......bring it on!

Meanwhile, I won't be buying any more shampoo!  A bit ironic, looking at the mop of hair that I was sporting back during my Cal days in 1974.

My wife Evy and I would like to thank everyone who phoned, texted, brought gifts, made dinners, and visited me during my stay at the hospital.  It's a tremendous lift knowing that I have loyal friends and family helping me through this daunting process.

One question that has been asked frequently is how I am coping with the rigors of all of the testing, drugs, and uncertainty?

Simple answer.  SQUASH........ everything about the game and what it offers is more than enough to keep up my optimism.  Remembering the training, dedication, and perseverance that it took and still takes to learn how to compete at squash successfully at a lofty level for many years, is the cornerstone of my positive attitude.

The following is a story that shines through; a story that I have previously published, but shall tell again for those who haven't read it.

University Club Member and friend Ed Helfeld visited me a few days ago, and when posed the question that "Squash is Just a Game", without skipping a beat, we both chimed in together that "Squash is not just a game.  It is LIFE!" 

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THANKS, JACK!

My memories take me back to 1989.  I was overjoyed when a coveted invitation was extended to me by the Harvard Club of New York to compete in the John M. “Jack” Barnaby Invitational Singles Tournament. This was when hardball was the prevailing singles game in the U.S., and I was trying to re-establish my name among the elite singles players at the time.  It was important to me that I do well because I had taken a hiatus from competition for a few years after I was hired as the Squash Professional at the University Club: the first ever for the Club. In addition, 1989 was the year when I  was eligible to play in the Veteran Category of 35+ (competing against a group of select players 35+ and over) providing me with a new lease on my squash life.) And to top it off, the tournament was scheduled two weeks before the U.S. National Singles Championships, making it the perfect tune-up tournament.  The competitive juices flowed again with the added bonus of playing with players in my own age group.  I  told myself that I needed to play in this tournament to reacquaint myself with serious competition. 

"The Barnaby” was the most prestigious Veteran’s hardball singles invitational tournament in the United States at the time.  It was part of the Harry Cowles, John Jacobs, and Jack Barnaby Invitational (venerated Harvard Squash Coaches) Only the top veteran players in the United States were invited.  Looking at the draw was like looking at the US Squash's yearbook’s list of champions: Anil Nayar, Jay Nelson, Tom Poor, Leonard Bernheimer, David Linden, Chris Burrows, Steve Fortunato, Gordon Anderson, Scott Ryan, and Derrick Niederman were some of the squash luminaries competing; National Champions who were also extended invitations to the play in the 1989 edition of "The Barnaby”.  I qualified because in 1983 (the year when the U.S. National Singles Championships were played in San Francisco), I was ranked #7 in the Open Singles division.  It was an honor and privilege competing with such an elite draw of players.

Fast forward to 1991.  

After three years of trying to win "The Barnaby”,  I had made it to the Finals that year, but was defeated by David Linden, It was a great showing on my part because Linden was a many-crowned (7 or 8 all in all would be my best guess) National Singles Champion in hardball and softball singles.  In 1989, I lost in the semi’s.  In 1990 I lost in the quarters.  

On the flight home, I was feeling down because, try as I did, I could not breakthrough.  In 1990, I also got to my first National 35+ Finals held in Rochester, NY, but ended up losing to Derrick Niederman in three games. It was not hard to see a trend developing.  It was discouraging to come so close to winning the big one with nothing to show for it but moral victories.  I had put up good fights but not enough fight to win it all.  

Upon arriving home I wrote Jack a note thanking him for hosting the tournament.

A week later, I was surprised to receive a hand written reply from Jack himself.  He wrote:

Dear John:

Thanks for your nice card.

I really think you should have won the event and I'd like to see you do it next year. Why? Because you play good squash and you are a good sport.

Your opponent beat you because, although not as good a player as you, he is a better match player. You dominated the match, being well ahead in four of the five games. But you let up every time you had a lead. I don't mean you didn't try. I mean you tried to make quick aces, to win easy, instead of continuing to grind it out in the manner that had built the lead.

The hardest thing to learn is to fight when you are ahead - to play really tough, percentage squash, taking no non-percentage risks. The last points are always the hardest: when his back is to the wall, your opponent will not take foolish risks, he will fight and play long points, he will never (or rarely) give it away. You must be ready to fight even harder and longer at the end and never flatter yourself "Now I've got him, it is all down hill." Actually the hill is up and it gets steeper near the top.

Best wishes and good luck.

Jack Barnaby

Two weeks later,  I traveled to the courts of Yale's Payne Whitney Gym in New Haven to compete in yet another "Nationals".  I played well enough to get back to the finals, like I did the previous year in Rochester.  But this year, buoyed with the thoughts of Barnaby's letter, I beat Niederman, the defending Champion, on his home court in a rematch after falling behind 0-2, then fighting back to even the match at 2-2, and narrowly beating him by the score of 18-17 in the fifth game.  

My breakthrough!

The following year, I returned to New York to play in "The Barnaby" and this time I had the match play experience and confidence to beat Linden in the Finals (another rematch) by the score of 3-1.

Thanks, Jack.

(Jack Barnaby is one of the best-known names in squash racquets. Head coach in squash at Harvard University for 28 years, he is the author of numerous pamphlets, articles, and books.  His teams have won twenty-two national and intercollegiate titles and his pupils have accumulated thirteen individual national championships and fifteen intercollegiate titles. His "batting average" in intercollegiate team competition was close to .950, and he became known as Harvard's ''winningest'' coach. Coach Barnaby was also awarded the President's Cup, the game's highest honor.)  He passed away in 2002.  For more about Jack Barnaby click here.

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